As an adult, there are so many things I wish I knew as a teenager. 18 – the age of brink between teenage and adulthood. It is the time when your adrenaline isn’t in your control when you question every decision of your elders when you think nobody understands you when you just want to run away and be on your own.
Hi there, welcome to my safe space again. I hope in this last month of 2020 you are taking life as it is coming – Accepting and embracing the change and working to have a better future.
But just in case you aren’t, know that it is absolutely fine. You don’t have to figure it all at once. Nobody does, and nobody can, no matter how hard they try.
Yes, life is unpredictable but life is the greatest teacher too. When things get out of your control, you must know that God is preparing you for a better tomorrow. After all, a diamond has to go through a lot to achieve that lustrous texture and strength. So do all of us. The only question is if we have the patience and courage to bear it. The only question is if we have that self-belief and faith to come out stronger and better than our setbacks.
Today, I am working day and night to become the woman of my vision. I am learning and growing every day so that I can build a life for myself where I am happy, successful, independent, and living a good life with my family.
But, while I am onto it, I have days when I look back and think about the “most” difficult phase of my life and how I passed it. I was clueless and confused at that time. But, today when I look back, I smile cherishing that time. I have a smile of satisfaction and I unapologetically thank god that he made me go through it. The supposed hardships I faced then have contributed to making me the woman I am today – ambitious, family-oriented, and knowing the importance of independence.
I will be turning 24 in March. Therefore, these are the 3 things I want to say to my younger self and affirm her that while the time is miserable for her today, 6 years later she will happy, satisfied, and chasing her dreams as strong women do.
- Cry as much as you want but never question your worth
- Your parents and family are your biggest supporters
- Life is good to all only after it teaches you what’s necessary
Let’s get into these, one by one:
1. Cry as much as you want but never question your worth
Life is a test for everyone. But, in our teenage, we tend to find the experiences of our life a little harder and unfair for ourselves. Every piece of advice seems irrelevant. The decisions of elders seem like a burden.
All you want to do is, do it all yourself. You just want to do it all without thinking about the consequences. Some of us even commit acts that are a big NO. However, the realization comes later. Regret is a strong feeling too. But, what’s done once cannot be undone.
Hence, the only message I have for my younger self is to cry if she wants, cry as much as you want. You are sorry for not fulfilling your parent’s expectations. You feel that you have let them down, which is true indeed. But, just because you could not do something for once that doesn’t mean you are worthless.
Your worth is not restricted to your mark sheet or the entrance exam you failed. It is much more than that. So, cry as much as you want. Feel sorry for yourself. But, do not attach your worth to anything. You are always worth it. Always.
2. Your parents and family are your biggest supporters
During teenage, parents try their best to keep hold of their children and give them the correct advice and take the right decision for them. But, obviously, the rebellious age that it is, makes us think otherwise.
We just think that they are trying to control us unnecessarily while it is the very thing that is necessary for reality. Taking control of a teenager as a parent isn’t about restricting them from what’s wrong. It’s about guiding them toward what is right.
Today, when I reflect back on those times I understand the reason behind every single thing that my mom and dad did. Be that seizing my phone or not allowing me to overwatch the television. It all makes sense now.
So, stop confusing their care with control. The family members are the only people who stand behind you to guard you even in the most unprecedented times. They are the ones who will support you when you fail in life, even when you end up disappointing them.
Nobody can think about your goodwill and fortune more than your parents. Not even you, yourself. You ought to remember that and trust them, especially in your teenage. You might not realize it today but years down the line, you will.
3. Life is good to all only after it teaches you what’s necessary
You scored below average in your high school exams. You failed twice, at that exam you prepared for so religiously. You failed to secure a seat in any of the government colleges either through merit or through exam results.
Now, you feel you are good for nothing. You don’t have a future. You’ll be at home as a depressed person while all your friends will enjoy their college lives.
No, you won’t.
Remember, this is a tough time for you. But, life is about to get tougher. And, you have no option but to be resilient. You cannot quit. This isn’t who you are. You are not a quitter. You have to have faith in God and keep going. You have to trust the universe and your deeds.
A few years from now, you will be exactly what you should be – a strong, ambitious, and independent woman. A woman who will build her life with her hard work, determination, and persistence. A woman who will know what is best for her.
Life is tough for everyone but it is good for all as well. Your time will arrive too, provided you don’t stop on your journey. Rest if you may. But, never give up.
These are the things I wish I knew as a teenager, things I wish to convey to my younger self. And, I’ll believe my purpose behind writing this will be fulfilled if this could help even one teenager to get their thoughts together and trust the process of life. I will feel my job is all done if it could help anybody.
18 is rather a critical age. The change in hormones, the new experiences, new beginnings, it is a roller coaster ride altogether. And by the time that age ends, it leaves you with a lot of lessons. Mine were the ones I mentioned here.
I hope I could justify your stay in my space and make it a good service in your reading menu.
Thank you for being so loyal to my blog and reading each of it.
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I shall see you with some new topics very soon.