Learning how to be vulnerable with your partner begins with the simple act of communication. Vulnerability is a very sensitive yet crucial aspect of any serious and successful relationship. In today’s blog, I’ll share 11 ways in which being vulnerable with my partner has helped me improve my bond with him.
In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, relationships may feel superficial. While every couple is on social media setting “couple goals”, nobody knows the reality.
An influencer couple that’s teaching people ‘to love’ is seen announcing their divorce in the next few months. Don’t get me wrong here, I am no one to judge.
But you cannot learn “how to love” from social media. Real-life situations are much different. Real and successful relationships require you to do a lot more than post pretty couple pictures on the gram.
With so many options available so easily, it’s quite easy to get deviated and ‘move on’ to the next person you find. Being vulnerable in your relationship has become more and more challenging.
Everyone is so afraid to get hurt that they often put up walls to protect themselves. But in doing so, you also miss out on the opportunity for true intimacy and connection.
The only key to breaking down those walls and building stronger, more meaningful relationships is embracing vulnerability.
As you learn how to be vulnerable with your partner, you lay the foundation of a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
In today’s blog, you will learn 11 ways in which you can be emotionally bare in your relationship and make it the strongest it has ever been.
How to be Vulnerable With Your Partner? 11 Ways to Teach You Dare to Bare
Vulnerability is the willingness to show your true self, flaws and all, to another person. It’s about being open and honest, even when it feels uncomfortable or scary.
While it may seem counterintuitive, being vulnerable actually strengthens your relationship with your partner.
When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you create an environment of trust and authenticity, which builds a deeper and real connection with your partner.
Thus, before we learn the 11 ways that will show you how to be vulnerable with your partner, it’s important to put some common misconceptions out of our way.
2 Common Misconceptions about Vulnerability
Being vulnerable with your partner is seen as a taboo. Most people are not even comfortable discussing this topic. Here are 2 common misconceptions that people have held onto about being vulnerable in your relationship.
- Some people believe that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. They think that it exposes them to potential harm or rejection. On the contrary, vulnerability is a sign of strength. It takes courage to open up and be honest with your partner. It is not so easy to let go of your inhibitions and share your fears and insecurities with them.
- People think that vulnerability should only be one-sided. In a healthy relationship, just like communication, vulnerability should be a two-way street. Both partners should willingly open up and share their true selves. This is how you create a safe space for each other to be vulnerable and trustworthy.
Now that these misconceptions are out of the way, let’s learn the 11 ways to be vulnerable with your partner.
How to be Vulnerable with Your Partner? 11 Ways You Can Embrace Vulnerability in Your Relationship
1. Open Communication
Fearless Communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. Start by creating a safe space for open and honest conversations. Choose a time and place where you both feel comfortable and free from distractions. Use “I” statements to express your emotions and needs. Don’t blame or prejudge them about their thought process.
If you cannot communicate and have a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner, says a lot about you two. Either they are a red flag in your relationship or you’re too afraid to open up to them due to your own emotional baggage.
The only solution is to take that first step towards being vulnerable and start honest communication with them. However, you must make sure that both of you are committed to talking openly and without any judgments. This means actively listening to each other and being willing to share your thoughts and feelings without any fear.
2. Share Your Emotions
Showing the most unconfident parts of yourself to someone else requires you to have a deeper emotional connection with them. Sharing your real emotions can be scary, but it’s an essential part of being vulnerable. I have been with my partner for 10 years. Being in a long-distance relationship, this is one of the most crucial aspects behind our successful bond; the emotional connection we have with each other.
So, don’t be afraid to express how you feel, whether it’s sadness, fear, happiness, or love. Emotions are a natural part of the human experience. They are what makes you, you. Sharing them with your partner will deepen your connection and help you both feel more understood and heard.
3. Be Authentic
A real relationship is a commitment to life. Your partner is the person who will see you in every state, emotionally and physically. You cannot lie or hide from them. Even when we are away, he is the only person who knows me at my best outside my family. He’s the one who knows my smallest habits and daily routines. Thus, authenticity is key to vulnerability.
You cannot fake it in front of them for a long time. So, if you wish to establish that vulnerability with your partner, don’t try too hard.
Don’t try to be someone you’re not to please your partner or avoid conflict. Instead, be true to yourself and your feelings. This means being honest about your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, and your values and beliefs. Be certain about your preferences. Explain the reasons, if needed, but don’t hide them from your partner.
4. Active Listening
Active listening is an essential part of communication and vulnerability. It’s a two-way street. You cannot expect your partner to do it all according to you. So as much as you want them to listen to you, make sure you’re giving them the same.
5. Express Trust
Trust is the strongest pillar of a successful relationship. It is the foundation of being vulnerable with your partner. However, trust is earned by everyday efforts and conscious decisions you make towards each other. So, be reliable and keep your promises. Show up for your partner and be there for them when they need you.
Be honest to express your trust to your partner. This will only deepen your connection. You must let your partner know that you trust them and that you’re willing to be vulnerable with them. This will build mutual trust and a sense of safety between you two contributing towards sustaining your bond in the long run.
6. Accepting Each Other
The idea of change can make you uncomfortable. Similarly, it can be a lot for your partner too. While real love improves you as a person, you cannot always impose “your idea of improvement” on your partner. If you wish to be vulnerable with your partner, you’ll have to learn to embrace their imperfections too.
Acceptance is the next key component of vulnerability. Hence, if you love them, you must accept your partner for who they are, with their flaws and all. This means you choose them with their limitations. This means not trying to change them or criticize them for their weaknesses. Instead, focus on their strengths and happily glorify what you love about them.
7. Admitting Your Mistakes
Not every day will be a perfect “happy couple” day in your journey. As a couple, you will go through many ups and downs. There will be days when either of you will screw things up. But, these are also the days that will test you, your bond, and your relationship.
This is when you will have to choose between your opinion and the reality. This is when you must remember that you both are on the same team. You are against the problem not each other. This is how you will take steps towards being more vulnerable with your partner.
Nobody is perfect and admitting your mistakes will only strengthen your bond. In the past 10 years, I have lost count of the number of times we’ve fought and made up and got back together. But every time this happens, we have been together with more love and connection than before.
Admitting your mistake builds trust and shows your partner that you’re willing to be vulnerable and honest. This shows that you prioritize your relationship over the mistakes you make.
8. Seek Support
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean you have to do everything on your own. It doesn’t mean you alone have to take the burden of making your relationship a success. Any relationship is a two-person job. One person’s efforts alone cannot sustain it.
Hence whenever you find it difficult, seek support from your partner whether it’s emotional support or practical help. This will strengthen your bond. It will show them that you are not afraid to share your weaknesses with them.
9. Practice Empathy
Empathy is your ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Being empathetic makes you more vulnerable with your partner by allowing you to understand their perspective and feelings.
The key is to be attentive and listen carefully to understand your partner’s point of view. This makes them feel heard and seen. This shows that their opinions are important to you and you will not do anything to hamper the relationship you have built together.
10. Discuss Each Other’s Goals
Discussing shared goals and dreams can be a powerful way to build vulnerability in your relationship. This is something me and my partner always do.
For the past few years, everything that we have done with our careers has been a mutual decision. We have a vision for the life we want to create. The feeling of knowing that they see a future with you is unexplainable. This takes your emotional intimacy to the next level.
Discussing your individual plan and sharing your goals as a couple will make you feel included in their life. This means that you talk about what you both want to achieve in life and how you can support each other on this journey. This helps to build a sense of teamwork and mutual support.
11. Be Present
Being present and fully engaged in your relationship is essential to vulnerability. Being in a long-distance relationship has added great value to our life. It has helped us to cherish those moments of togetherness and fully enjoy them.
Even though we see each other for a few hours, we ensure that we dedicate all that time to each other. We make that time enough for us to wait until our next meeting.
So, make sure you’re giving your partner your full attention without getting distracted by other things. This includes putting away your phone, turning off the TV, and focusing on each other completely.
These were the 11 ways in which you can explore and embrace vulnerability with your partner. But sometimes, it’s not as easy as putting it all together in a blog. Sometimes along with knowing how to approach a situation, you also need to know why you haven’t been able to do it yet.
So, let’s learn what has stopped you from being vulnerable with your partner.
Why do I have Trouble Being Vulnerable With my Partner?
When two people fall in love and decide to spend the rest of their lives together, they also choose to embrace each other’s goodness and flaws.
A successful relationship requires you to accept your partner as a whole, with their good and bad sides.
When you are mindful in your relationship, you understand that you don’t become vulnerable with your partner overnight. The feelings grow fonder as you spend more time together, and you learn each other’s small habits.
But if you cannot open up to your partner even after all this time, then this shows you still have issues to deal with.
Let’s understand which of these 5 reasons is stopping you from being vulnerable with your partner:
1. Lack of Trust
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you find it difficult to be vulnerable with your partner, it may be because you lack trust. This shows that you don’t trust them enough to show them your real side. This could be due to your past experiences or a fear of being judged or rejected.
2. Fear of Rejection
Being vulnerable means opening yourself up to the possibility of rejection or criticism. This means that you’re showing your partner the side of you that hasn’t been exposed before. If you have been hurt before or someone has taken advantage of you, it can be challenging to let your guard down and show your true self to your partner.
3. Emotional Baggage
Your past bad experiences, such as failed relationships or childhood traumas, can leave deep, emotional scars. This can make it difficult to open up and be vulnerable with your partner. It can build a victim mindset in you. Unresolved emotional baggage can create rigid walls and barriers that may take a long time to break off. This also prevents you from fully opening up to your partner and showing them what is bothering you or what matters to you.
4. Communication Issues
Effective communication is crucial to make any relationship successful. If you and your partner struggle to communicate honestly, it can hinder your ability to be vulnerable with each other. Misunderstandings, a lack of emotional intelligence, and no emotional connection will make it challenging to share your true thoughts and feelings. This ultimately harms how you feel about each other and impacts your relationship negatively.
5. Fear of Being Judged
Many people fear being judged or criticized for their vulnerabilities. If you have experienced judgment or criticism in the past, it can create a fear of sharing your deepest inhibitions with your partner. This fear can prevent you from showing your true self and hinder the growth of your relationship.
Hence, it’s important to remember that vulnerability takes time and effort to develop. It requires mutual trust, real communication, and a willingness to be open and authentic with your partner.
If the reason for the lack of vulnerability in your relationship is excessive fear, here are two simple ways in which you can overcome your fear.
How to Overcome the Fear of Being Vulnerable?
Overcoming the fear of being vulnerable is a process that takes time and self-reflection. Here are 2 things that you can do with yourself before you take the step ahead and show up to your partner.
1. Acknowledge your fears
Start by acknowledging your fears and understanding that they are normal. Remember that vulnerability is not about being perfect. It is about being real.
Embrace your imperfections and understand that they are what make you unique and lovable. You must know that your partner has chosen to be with you despite your shortcomings, just like you have chosen them despite theirs.
Chasing perfection in yourself is a road to disappointment. Nobody can ever be perfect, you can only improve yourself. Hence, you must let go of your fears and inhibitions about yourself.
Share these details with your partner, irrespective of how irrelevant or minute they seem to you. Let them know what and how you feel about things that matter.
2. Practice Self-Compassion
Show yourself the same love and admiration you have towards your partner. Be compassionate with yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes and that vulnerability is a natural part of the human experience.
Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage you to be vulnerable. These are the people who will be there for you when things get tough.
How to Practice Vulnerability in Everyday Life?
While vulnerability is often associated with romantic relationships, it’s important to practice vulnerability in all areas of your life.
As much as a romantic relationship, you also need friends and family to lead a fulfilled life. None of them can replace each other. Everyone has their value and place.
So, be open and honest with your true friends. Talk to people in your family as well. Share your thoughts and feelings with them and ask for their support when you need it.
Take risks and step outside of your comfort zone. Embrace vulnerability as a way of living, and you’ll find that your relationships are flourishing, both romantically and otherwise.
Learning how to be vulnerable with your partner is a slow and gradual process. It takes time and it happens as you grow together.
The level of emotional intimacy and vulnerability I have with my partner today is way more than what we had at the beginning of our relationship. We have grown up with each other over an internet connection.
And despite the distance, we are the most important people in each other’s lives simply because we have always chosen to save our bond over anything else.
We have embraced vulnerability and that has built a strong and meaningful relationship for us.
Yes, it takes courage to show your true self, but the rewards are well worth it. By being vulnerable, you are creating a secure environment of trust and authenticity for your partner.
Remember that vulnerability is a two-way street, and both partners need to be willing to open up and share their true selves. So, dare to bare and embrace vulnerability in your relationship.
You’ll be amazed at the love and intimacy that can flourish when you let down your walls. Go for it, you won’t regret it.