How to build a relationship with yourself? A healthy relationship with yourself is the root of having healthy relationships with the other people in your life. It is inarguably the most important of all the relationships you build in a lifetime. After all, you are the person you spend most of your time with and you cannot have it wrong.
A healthy relationship with yourself sets a strong foundation for building successful relationships with everyone else. While terms like ‘self-love’ or ‘self-acceptance’ may feel like buzzwords of the modern era, their meaning, and importance stand true in understanding yourself.
Self-reflection is a powerful activity to improve your relationship with yourself. It takes a lot of self-talk and analysis to love, accept and embrace who you are as a person. Especially with comparisons at your fingertips because of social media, high insecurity, and low self-esteem levels are the bare minimums every other person suffers from.
Hence, today’s blog will teach you 10 simple steps on how to build a relationship with yourself.
How to Build a Relationship with Yourself? 10 Simple Steps towards Self Love
1. Acknowledge negative self-talk
Recognizing negative self-talk is the first step to setting a strong foundation to build a relationship with yourself. Positive or negative: the voice you allow to control your mind gets to control your life. This might sound cliche but it is very important to recognize that negative voice in your head. If not acknowledged at the right time, it can do more harm than good for you.
Engaging in negative self-talk severely impacts your self-esteem. It impacts how you see and feel about yourself. Hence, the first step is to recognize whenever you’re having those negative thoughts and ultimately shift to having positive self-talk. This will take a lot of practice but you will reach there.
2. Start deciding for yourself
My decisions were always driven by what would people think or say. Until a few years ago, my parents used to decide for me. No, there wasn’t anything wrong with that. But, I wanted to become more independent and have a hold on my life. The day I decided to do it, things did change gradually. Instead of letting other people decide for me, I stood up for myself.
You reading this today is a significant part of what I decided for myself. If you are on the people pleaser express too, I believe it’s time that you choose your happiness above and over anything else for once. This is how to build a relationship with yourself you go against all odds and choose your dreams, no matter how ‘wild’ or ‘unrealistic’ they may seem.
3. Practice gratitude
Gratitude may feel like an overused word. But, it makes absolute sense. You cannot learn how to build a relationship with yourself without being grateful for everything that you already have. Practicing gratitude is a superpower. It transforms your mindset and brings you closer to the real essence of life.
If you get to open your eyes every morning, this means you still have a purpose to fulfill. And that is the most important thing to be grateful for every day. From your good health to your loving family; from your day job to your side hustle, a little self-reflection and gratitude can take you towards abundance.
4. Checkin with yourself regularly
Usually, we all are busy fulfilling the needs and desires of our loved ones. But, how often do you sit back and relax to check in with yourself? How often do you ask yourself about your feelings? How often do you treat yourself for just making it through the day?
As much as your physical health, your mental health has an equal impact on your wellbeing. In fact, physical wounds are visible. But, it is important to address those inner wounds and heal them. The easiest and simplest way to learn how to build a relationship with yourself is to express your thoughts to your loved ones or simply dump them all in your journal.
5. Be compassionate towards yourself
Compassion and kindness for each other are rare to find these days. But, compassion and kindness for yourself have become the rarest trait among us. The everyday stress, hustle, and competition can make you your worst critic. And, you are not alone in this. Living in the digital era, it is so easy to compare your not-so-perfect life with the so-called “perfect” lives you see on the web.
Studies show how all this affects your mental wellbeing. The key is to treat yourself as you would treat your best friend. When thoughts of comparison hit your head, it’s important to replace them with empathy, compassion, and kindness.
6. Learn to spend alone time
This is the step most people are hesitant to take. Craving social acceptance sometimes leads to forcing yourself to blend into groups you don’t belong to. It is important to have a social life. But, it’s also important to acknowledge when social needs begin to hamper your thought process. Hence, spending time with yourself is a significant pillar that teaches you how to build a relationship with yourself.
As much as a physical detox, it is equally vital to take a break from the media and just be with yourself. Communication methods like news channels, radio, and now social media, all of these impact you holistically. Thus, it is important to dedicate regular days to yourself without any devices or gadgets.
7. Surround yourself with the right people
As social beings, it’s unlike our nature to not crave social acceptance. We all want it at different levels. But, social acceptance shall be expected from people that uplift you. The need to fit in can lead you to people or groups who devalue or demean you. Therefore, you must be mindful of who you surround yourself with.
Spend time with people who love you for who you are and appreciate your presence in their lives. If you don’t have any such people around you, create that environment for yourself. If you don’t have direct access to the leaders that inspire you, indulge in their content. Here are 6 of my favorite and go-to content creators to seek inspiration.
8. Prioritize basic self-care
Your relationship with yourself is the most intimate relationship you will ever have. And just as you care for the people you love around you, you should take care of yourself too. It is easy to talk about self-care but we all know the truth.
The busy lifestyle makes it hard to accommodate self-care in the daily routine. And this is where you and I are going wrong. Instead of prioritizing self care, we are trying to accommodate it in our schedules. Self care is personal. It’s subjective and different for everyone. So, whatever self care looks like for you, do it. Prioritize it to build a strong and healthy relationship with yourself.
9. Set goals and analyze them
Building a healthy relationship with yourself isn’t limited to your present or past. It is also about your future. Setting goals and analyzing them is an integral part of the process. You can’t neglect it. Planning your goals doesn’t mean you have to figure it all out. You can start by making a to-do list for a day. The second step can be planning your next week, next month, and so on. This is how I’ve approached it.
Along with planning the goals, it is also crucial to analyze them: whether you’re completing them or not. If yes, what worked? If not, what lacked? And, what should you do to improve as you progress? All these questions shall be answered.
10. Take care of your physical health
A healthy relationship with yourself is not built only on the above. Along with all these, you must take care of yourself physically. Your health is your real wealth. After all, what good is success when you can’t enjoy it?
From eating right to including movement in your schedule, your lifestyle plays a huge role in your wellbeing. It all comes down to establishing better habits that support your goals to improve your relationship with yourself. You don’t have to be a fitness freak to stay aligned with your health. Yoga has been an amazing movement routine for me. It could be anything for you. Experiment to find what works for you and stick to it.
All these are some very simple steps that will teach you how to build a relationship with yourself as they had taught me over the years. You can follow these steps as they suit you to strengthen your relationship with yourself.
A healthy relationship with yourself isn’t built overnight. It’s a work in progress. You will have a new level of improvement to unlock every time you reach a goal. But, that should not make you over-critical of yourself. That’s the whole point right: accept yourself as your uplevel in life while making those mistakes and learning from them.
All of us are different from each other. Your individuality makes you unique and that is why, instead of following anything blindly, you must try things according to yourself.
Don’t follow someone’s advice because they said so.
And don’t forget to share what are you doing to build a relationship with yourself in your daily life.
Until next time, happy reading!!!