How Do You Know Your Partner is Cheating? 11 Signs You Cannot Ignore

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Is your partner just working late or is there something more? If you ask this question more than often, it’s worth exploring why! I get it, doubting your partner is not a joyful thing. But, if you have a gut feeling that won’t go away, it’s time to pay attention. But, how do you know your partner is cheating? Well, here are 11 signs that should not be ignored.

Handling a relationship and making it successful is a two-person job. When one of these two people allows a third person to enter, it all begins to ruin. 

Sometimes, it crumbles piece by piece, fight by fight and sometimes, it all comes down at once. 

However, you don’t always guarantee that they’re cheating, but watching out for these telltale red flags does no harm. 

Most importantly, it is the beginning of an honest conversation between you and your partner. 

Thus, let’s learn what should you do if you feel like your partner is cheating on you. 


How Do You Know Your Partner is Cheating? 11 Signs You Cannot Ignore

We’ve all seen in movies- the tear-streaked discovery of a forgotten earring or a lost anklet, a suspicious text message popping up at an odd hour, a lipstick stain that’s quick to raise all eyebrows, and one partner sniffing some unfamiliar perfume on another. 

But, you all would agree – real life isn’t so dramatic. There are very rare chances that these scenes happen in the real world!  

A latest report on infidelity found that 23% of men and 13% of women have been sexually involved with someone else other than their romantic partners.

I am an old-school lover. So, if there’s one thing I absolutely hate is infidelity. If you cannot stay loyal and committed to the person you claim to love, you are better off alone.

Often, the signs of infidelity are hidden in very subtle hints. Behavioral changes that are hard to doubt and unexplained routine changes.

Mostly these hints are wrapped in the modern architecture of love

You likely tend to avoid them in most cases because obviously, nobody wants to think that their partner is cheating!

Your intuition is powerful, even if you dismiss it. Maybe there’s a perfectly innocent explanation to everything or maybe there is not.

But, if you have a nagging feeling that something is off in your relationship, trust your gut! 

There’s a reason why it is called your second brain and it’s almost never wrong. 

So, let’s look at these signs: 

11 Signs That Your Partner is Cheating 

1. Shifts in Communication

Remember those days when you could spend the entire night just sharing things, from 0 to 1? Like sharing every single thing that made you feel something, good or bad, mundane or excited- and night just flowed effortlessly. 

Well, if that’s not the case anymore, there’s a potential red flag that might be just waving at you because, hey, if your once chatty partner has morphed into a radio silent buddy who takes zero interest in sharing their everyday stuff with you, that is not healthy! 


Here’s what you should watch out for:

a. Secretive phone calls:

Does your partner go out of means and ways to attend that “one single call” every time and become defensive when you talk about it? 

Do you find them excusing a lot to attend calls that you’ve no idea about? 

Or, do they pick up phones in a hushed tone or frantically shove their phone aside as you enter the room?


b. Vague information about their whereabouts:

If you’ve tried asking your partner about their whereabouts, do their answers come out wrapped in mystery or excuses? 

If they are no longer interested in telling you something as simple as “Where were you?” straightforwardly or without picking a time, it’s time to make an honest and open conversation.


c. Withdrawal from open conversations:

If your partner is no longer involved in raw conversation sessions as they used to and becomes defensive instead, it’s high time you watch out for a red flag or a sign of possible infidelity. 

Why else would someone trade transparency and openness in a relationship, if there is nothing fishy? A food for thought, indeed!

If your conversations feel forced, one-sided, or end abruptly and all your efforts of making things work hit a brick wall, you need to be cautious!

These might look like little things to not pay attention to but trust me, they play a huge role in how the dynamics of your relationship work. 

So, if you’re casually ignoring them, it’s time to notice and confront your partner about it. 


2. Obsessive Phone Use

While phone addiction is a real issue, it can show you the state of your relationship too. 

We all love our phones, right? And, the funny thing is, more than anything else, your phone knows you-your secrets, your good days and the bad days. Just one click and it can expose it all.

But, if you find your partner protecting their phone like crazy and if their relationship with their phone looks like a full-blown affair, it’s time to take notice! 


Here are a few signs you should be looking for:

a. The inseparable:

Do you feel as if your partner’s soul resides in their phones, like they “stay together, slay together” all the time? 

If your partner takes their phone everywhere, from bathroom to movie dates and even a bit of separation from their phone gives them anxiety, you should be smart enough to know that there’s something wrong. 

I believe no office work is so important and urgent that you can’t go to the bathroom peacefully!


b. Ultra-Max Pro protection:

Is their phone always locked, hidden away, or flipped screen-down whenever you’re around? 

A once-open device being guarded like this could be a sign that there’s something your partner doesn’t want you to know.


c. Messages at Random Hours:

I’ve never seen an urgent office work or a meeting message popping up at 3 a.m., have you? 

So, if a mysterious message lights up your partner’s screen in the wee hours and your gut tells you there’s something fishy about the unexplained long, late-night texting sessions, hushed tones, furtive glances, and a sheer denial to communicate what this all is about, there must be a concerning underlying issue.


d. The Delete Button Becomes their BFF

If your partner has a passionate connection with that “delete” button and all those suspicious messages get deleted with ninja-like reflexes or there’s no sign of their browsing history, it somewhere indicates that they are trying to clear their tracks. 

On top of this, if you confront them and they dismissively tell you that it’s “nothing”, there’s something, they’re trying to hide.

Now, all these observations are good enough to throw you in a rage with your face burning red, but wait- that’s not what you’re supposed to do! 

Try to talk and sort this out, calmly and communicate what’s bothering you.

3. Special Attention to Appearance

We all love to look good and feel good but when your partner changes their style from tip to toe dramatically seemingly overnight, it’s worth investigating. 

If your once fashion-averse partner now keeps looking for the latest trends, that baggy jeans and you notice a whole new upgrade to their choices: from clothes to skincare to hairstyle, there’s perhaps a story waiting to be told. 

If your partner who hated the idea of abs and ripped muscular body suddenly becomes a gym rat, it might indicate that they’re preparing for an audience other than you. 

Now, notice the word ‘might’ because this isn’t a sure-shot sign of infidelity. This could also mean they’re more inclined towards personal development, grooming, a conscious choice towards a healthy lifestyle, or could be just looking for a change in their lifestyle. 

So before you go and label them as ‘an unfaithful partner’, do your research properly. 

Try a casual approach and share how much you’ve noticed a change in their lifestyle and see if they confide the motivation behind all this.


4. Increased Distance

Cuddling on the couch used to be your daily ritual but now curling up together feels like hugging a cactus. 

Weekends that were filled with love, laughter, romance, and cute dates are now met with excuses, urgent work, and canceled plans. 

If this is what your story looks like and your partner is so emotionally and physically distant that it just feels like you’re more of roommates than soulmates, then there could be an underlying trouble.

The only reason why relationships thrive in the long term is because of their closeness- not the physical one but their emotional and mental closeness. 

If you feel any emotional distance in their everyday behavior- like how they care for you, listen to you, and be emotionally available at your lowest moments, then maybe they’re drifting away from you. Or maybe, they just don’t feel like sharing their energy with you. 

In either case, it’s highly probable that they’re making space for someone else or are generally dissatisfied with the relationship. 

5. Unexplained Work Hours

Does your partner’s calendar look mysteriously full? 

Do their work hours have magically expanded and you often find them pulling extra hours in the office? 

Do they leave office early but come back home late and when you ask them about their whereabouts, the answers are often vague and unconvincing? 

This could be a cause of concern as cheating partners often make work as an excuse to spend time with someone else.

But, before you jump to any conclusion, consider that this could be genuinely due to work deadlines as well.


6. Financial Discrepancies

Healthy finances are the cornerstone of a healthy relationship

If you see a sudden change in your partner’s spending habits, like you’ve never seen before, it could be a sign of possible infidelity. 

On top of this, if they remain tight-lipped on really weird expenses or become evasive when you ask them about the withdrawals, it could mean that maybe that money is being used for someone else.

Again, it is not a definitive sign of infidelity but it’s still important to talk this out. 

7. Changes in Intimacy

Does romance and all those cute cuddly nights make a distant memory now? 

Does initiation intimacy feel like pulling teeth? 

Well, a fulfilling sex life and physical intimacy are a part of a healthy relationship and if you sense a weird loneliness regarding the same where your partner refuses to get close or dismisses any moves you make, there’s something wrong and it’s time to talk. 

Address it openly with your partner, talk about how you feel, and try exploring the reasons behind it. Maybe you’ll find a way out. 


8. The Blame Game

A cheating partner wrestling with guilt will go out of their way to deflect your suspicion or worse, put all the blame on you – how you’re being an overthinker, insensitive and they feel it’s you who’s into infidelity. 

You see, how easily they can control the conversation and make it about YOU? 

But, think before you fall into this shoddy tactic of manipulation. Keep your “facts” clear and address the real issues and problems you’re experiencing, because there’s no better solution than a genuine conversation.

partner is cheating

9. Secrecy and Lies

The entire foundation of a true relationship is built on mutual trust and transparency. There’s no room for secrets and lies because it takes just a moment to break a relationship, and all these things just catalyze that response.  

Infidelity often thrives in secrecy. Once your partner starts lying to you about the smallest things, it just becomes easier to weave a web of lies and it’ll extend onto the bigger things, which is sure not an indicator of a healthy relationship.

If all your questions and concerns end up in evasive and suspicious answers or stony silence, there could be a hint of infidelity. 

Why else then, someone would like to hide simple things from their partners?


10. Mood Swings 

Cheating often comes with a hefty dose of guilt. Maintaining a lie and two relationships with a fear of getting caught can be emotionally draining. 

All this can present itself as sudden and sharp mood swings like going from being the happiest on the planet to unexplained sadness in no time. 

There could be internal conflict and a mixed cauldron of emotions that can manifest themselves as lashing out at you, avoiding conversations, or slumping into bouts of intense frustration. 

Well, mood swings don’t automatically equal infidelity but if they come up with a lot of other suspicious observations and hints of red flags like the ones mentioned here, it’s worth addressing.


11. Your Gut Feeling

There’s a voice inside you that speaks in hunches, without logic and proofs but it’s worth listening to because it rarely steers you in the wrong direction – that’s your gut! 

If your gut tells you something is off, it probably is!

Now, this might not be a thundering accusation but a gentle nudge toward a truth that you’ve never dared to speak!

Trust your gut. Not every truth will come written on paper or a blog, but from the feeling that something is off. And, in most cases, this is enough!


Navigating infidelity can be tough and this is to let you know that you’re not alone. 

The 11 signs of how you can know your partner is cheating that I talked about are not definitive proof. 

But, they’re the potential symptoms of infidelity and there’s no harm in watching out for these signs and then addressing them with open and honest conversations. 

After all, that’s how you grow in a relationship. 

And, if you feel something is off and it turns out to be true, how you want to take that relationship further is a decision entirely up to you. 

You might want to stick and solve it all or you might make a painful decision of walking away. 

If you decide on the latter, here are two guides that will help you to heal your broken heart and move on in life

Whether you choose to stay or move on, do it with clarity, strength, and trust in your inner voice.