What is love, but a true union of minds? What is life, but a stage to flutter around (inspired by Shakespeare)?To establish a relationship between your love life and lifestyle, you must understand the foundational words i.e. love life, and lifestyle. So let’s find out what these words mean and how they are interconnected.
Humans are social beings. We are wired and designed to depend on each other for love, life, and lifestyle.
No matter how much the internet gurus swear by the wave of independence and freedom, in the end, it is your connections with the people around you that keep you grounded.
Next to your connection with yourself, your romantic relationship is the essence of your life. This is why your love life is intricately tied to your lifestyle. They have a huge impact on each other.
This codependency between your love life and your lifestyle, can make it or break it for you. Thus, let’s find out more about this and understand what’s the best you can do to improve the impact of this codependency.
9 Interesting Ways Your Love Life & Your Lifestyle Are Codependent
Your love life and your lifestyle are two sides of the same coin. These are the two main pillars of your life. So, let’s get into understanding them one by one.
What is Love?
Love is a dynamic term that keeps on evolving from era to era and varies even from person to person at the micro level.
To quote Google, “Love is a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties”.
In the words of Shakespeare, love is the union of minds.
However, I believe, love is the alignment of your mind, body, and soul with another or with the self.
What is Life?
You might have heard people often saying that life is a journey.
The famous Japanese authors Francesc Miralles and Hector Gracia perfectly explain 4 rules of life in their book “Ikigai: the Japanese Secret to Long and Happy Life”.
The four rules are related to answering four key questions:
i) What do you love?
ii) What are you good at?
iii) What does the world need? and
iv) What can you be paid for?
By answering these simple questions you can find out the purpose of your life way more easily.
While the meaning of life is different for different people, in the end, it is all about living your life ethically.
Remember, life is an outcome of the decisions you make, every decision good or bad, mighty or trivial all adds up to the way you live in the long run.
Hence, it is best to make wise decisions and take lessons from your mistakes.
A healthy lifestyle and a good work-life balance allow you to invest your time and energy into your relationship. It also helps you to form deeper connections with your partner.
What is Lifestyle?
Lifestyle is how you choose to live. It is associated with all the little to mighty things you do in life. The choice of your lifestyle diversely affects your personal life.
For example:- a person in corporate might want their partner to be in corporate as well or a lawyer might want to have a lawyer as his/her partner.
However, as every coin has two faces so does love. When people coming from different backgrounds and cultures come together, it’s a whole new vibe.
These relationships work only when both people respect each other and celebrate their differences.
How Your Lifestyle Can Affect Your Love Life?
Now that we know the meaning of foundational words, let’s try to understand the relationship between your love life and your lifestyle.
‘Everything in this universe is interrelated.’
To quote otherwise, you become what you think.
People with different lifestyles can have varied thought processes. This can significantly affect the relationship they share.
For example, an extrovert might want to be socially available whereas an introvert might want to enjoy their company and stay at home.
In such cases, if the couple is not willing to understand each other’s personalities, their lifestyle might adversely affect their relationship.
In a 2001 published research paper titled ‘Joint and Separated Lifestyle in Couple Relationship’, the authors explore how lifestyle activity, work-life balance, and healthy eating habits influence the quality of relationships among individuals.
It employs a dyadic approach to explore how individuals’ personal life choices intersect and affect their relationships.
Let us understand what are the major causes that can lead to an imbalance between your love life and your lifestyle:
1. Communication Skills
Your communication pattern intensely affects your ability to express which in turn affects your love life.
For instance, generally, men tend to be less expressive than women. Men do not express their love openly; this may lead to a gap. A successful relationship stands strong on effective communication.
2. Shared Interests
A similar lifestyle leads to a shared schedule and interests among partners strengthening the bond between them.
On the other hand, a series of major differences in lifestyle can cause disagreements or even conflicts that can harm the relationship.
3. Time Management
Effective time management plays a significant role in a relationship. Your partner deserves your time and attention more than anybody. When you are together, they should be your priority.
Personal lifestyle and the way you choose to manage your time decide how successful your relationship will be.
Busy schedules and an unhealthy work-life balance can strain your love life. No one wants to be a second option for their partner.
While being busy and working are a part of life, they should not take over your love life.
4. Mental and Physical Well Being
Your physical and mental ability to invest time in your relationship deeply affects your bond with your partner.
An unhealthy lifestyle, lack of exercise, improper sleep, and poor eating habits can impact your energy levels.
This can make you less attractive to your partner. It can also lead to taking out your pent-up frustration on them.
5. Division of Responsibilities
The world has changed. Relationships are no longer tied to the chains of gender roles.
In an era where both partners are aspiring and have their own goals and ambitions, it is important to have a fair division of responsibilities and mutual respect toward each other’s goals.
For example, my partner and I are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. We are aware of what we want to do and how we want to build a life together.
Dividing responsibilities equally is a silent way of supporting and cheering each other.
A relationship where one partner is overburdened with either work or home responsibilities and the other is free is only destined to result in burnout.
6. Emotional Intimacy
Emotional intimacy is one of the foundational layers to building a real relationship.
Your ability to be patient and kind towards your partner plays an important role in the health of your relationship.
A relationship where the partners don’t feel heard or seen doesn’t last long. Discarding your partner’s thoughts, ideas, or emotions in any way can form a base for distrust and lead to fallout in the relationship.
7. Financial Stability
You can have all the love and respect for each other, but you cannot neglect the importance of healthy finances in a healthy relationship.
Good financial habits by both partners not only improve your present but also prove to be a secure habit for your prosperous future as a couple.
A financially stable couple can afford vacations and trips, and spend quality time. They help you build a deeper connection with each other.
8. Your Behavior
Your behavior and personality play a significant role in building your love life and making it successful.
This has very little to do with your environment outside and a lot more to do with your upbringing and your environment at home.
It influences your relationship in more ways than you can comprehend.
The 2013 research paper ‘The Role of Health Behaviours in Relationship Satisfaction Among Young Couples’ throws a light on the impact of health behaviors such as lifestyle and eating habits on how healthy a relationship is.
It found that couples who slept, ate, and exercised together more frequently had better health and stronger health concordance than couples who engaged in fewer joint health routines.
Thus, you must notice and improve your negative behavioral patterns to sustain a healthy relationship with your partner.
9. Shift in Priority
When you shift your priorities without any discussion or involvement of your partner, it can highly influence your bonds.
It might include a failure to stick to your personal schedule or prioritizing your work always over your love life.
Many times, people cancel their personal plans to meet their professional deadlines, which is fine. But to do this continuously at the expense of your love life will only add to your list of regrets.
Thus, prioritize your relationship and get a hold of your schedule. Either don’t plan at all or stick to the plans.
How Can You Create a Lifestyle That Impacts Your Love Life Positively?
Every coin has two faces and so does this one.
While your lifestyle is of great importance, you cannot deny the importance of cultivating a healthy love life. With a little consciousness and adjustment, you can enjoy the fruits of creating a solid relationship with your partner.
Taking note of simple actions can help you with a smooth journey keeping your love life and lifestyle intact.
Let’s learn how can you establish the right balance between your love life and lifestyle:
1. Setting Boundaries
Nobody wants a constant check or eye on themselves.
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you’ve to consistently be around each other.
Inform your partner about how much time you need to prioritize for yourself and how much time you can devote to the commitment.
2. Communicate Openly
Establish open communication to know each other better. Let them know about your hobbies, goals, career, and priorities.
Lack of communication is a serious issue. Most people fail to communicate their feelings and end up separating instead of expressing themselves and acknowledging each other’s concerns.
3. Spend Quality Time
Focus on the quality of time you spend with your partner rather than quantity. Engage in meaningful interactions and deep conversations.
Try to understand your partner’s perspectives on life. Learn about their goals and put your mind to grow together.
Engage in fun activities such as traveling, trekking, and pottery to break out of the mundane. Spending time in such activities is a great way to know each other better and embrace each other’s perfections.
4. Keep it Flexible
Make sure you’re not imposing your thoughts and wishes on your partner. While you might see it as a way to show your love, it can be throttling for your partner.
Hence, be open to learning about new things from them. Be flexible in seeking an overall balance. Rather than discarding any idea, try to understand the reason behind it.
5. Establish Trust
Focus on establishing trust in your relationship. Building trust with your partner is not a once-and-done thing. It doesn’t happen overnight.
It happens with everyday efforts, by communicating with them so that it becomes easy to understand and be understood.
In a trustful relationship, you respect each other in every way. When you love them for real, you are even willing to compromise for their sake.
6. Respect Their Boundaries
Respecting your partner’s privacy and helping them set up productive space and boundaries for themselves is essential to building a healthy love life.
Give your partner space to evolve at an individual level. Do not try to intimidate them with their crazy ideas or thoughts, rather be watchful.
As per Geeta,”आत्मनि विद्ध्यात्मानं योगेनौप्यस्य योगिनः।
श्रेयोऽहं परमं ब्रह्म संसिद्धिं कुरुते नरः॥” – भगवद्गीता (Chapter 6, Verse 5)
It translates to:
‘Let a man lift himself, by himself
Let him not deteriorate himself.
For the self alone is the friend of the self and the self alone is the enemy to the self.’
7. Practice Self love
You might feel why to practice self love when the whole idea is to improve your lifestyle for your love life.
But who doesn’t want to be proud of their partner? Who doesn’t wish to have a successful partner?
When you practice self love and focus on evolving as a person, you are contributing to a healthy relationship unknowingly.
You cannot pour from an empty cup. Thus, it is important that you feel loved by yourself before you give that love to your partner.
8. Choose Discussion Over Debates
No relationship is perfect.
While you may see people setting couple goals on Instagram, their relationship is not immune from fights and arguments. What you see on social media is only one side of the story.
Every relationship has its own shortcomings. Yet your approach towards the differences can really make or break the bond.
Hence, try to avoid heated arguments. Rather, discuss every aspect with a calm mind.
Many research papers give valuable and powerful insight into psychological, social, neurological, and developmental realms of the relationship between your love life and personal lifestyle.
Helen Fisher’s research paper titled ‘The Neural Basis of Romantic Love’ explored the neurological aspect of romantic love with the help of functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) which studied the brain activity of people who claimed to be deeply in love.
The research suggested that romantic love activates specific regions of the brain that relate to reward and motivation which helps the individual to grow on a personal level.
Hence, the study provides an unquoted relation between your love life and your personal life. It proves how they both fairly intersect and affect each other.
Conclusion
Your love life and your lifestyle are intrinsically linked. You cannot deny that even a little discrepancy in one of these leaves a huge impact on the other.
Thus, if you have been in a place where your partner has questioned you over and over again, it might be time to introspect and reflect on your lifestyle.
I hope this blog will help you do that. If you learned something new and loved what you read, don’t forget to share it with your friends who are in a relationship.
