Have you ever wondered what makes people instantly likable? If you’ve ever wondered what makes people approachable and social, you are not alone. If you want to know how to make people like you, here is a step-by-step digestible answer.
“How to make people like me?” I remember making this exact search on the Google search box. It was on September 18, 2020, when my college started online classes. If you’ve searched for this, I feel you. I get your mindset
As an introvert, I often see people with a sense of awe. They have a strong charisma that seems effortless in attracting people. They go to a party or gathering, sit like any other ordinary person, sip their drinks, and the next thing you know they are engaging with people.
Opening up to people so easily is not one of my strongest suits. However, as I have grown in my career and relationships, I have managed my way and learned to make people like me. Let’s find it out together.
12 Insanely Easy Ways to Make People Like You
Despite being an introvert, I had a strong desire to attract and connect with people. I always wondered about the qualities that make people attractive and approachable.
To find answers, both for myself and for you, I decided to dive deep into this. I got my hands messy by observing and decoding these “attractive people.”
Surprisingly, what I’ve found is something we all own. We share the same energy that attractive people tap into, but the problem is that we don’t realize that we have it.
In this blog, I list 12 insanely easy ways to make people like you. To make this easy for you, I’m also giving you some practical phrases you can use when you interact with people.
How Do I Attract People to Like Me?
It is not rocket science to make people like you. There are plenty of ethical ways to attract people. But, it is important to note that the dirty manipulation tricks you see on the internet don’t work.
We all have that unsatisfied inner child who craves warmth and comfort. It is only those who care about you and genuinely love you will give that sense of understanding to your inner child.
Here are some significant insights by classic authors like Dale Carnegie, Robert Cialdini, and Olivia Fox Cabane. All of them have written about “the art of making people like you”.
a. Dale Carnegie
Dale Carnegie in his classic book titled ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ advises his readers to show genuine interest in others. He also suggests offering honest and specific compliments to people.
b. Robert Cialdini
Rober Cialdini wrote a classic book titled ‘Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.’ In this book, he recommends giving back to people. Give something back to them so that they remember you.
c. Olivia Fox Cabane
In ‘The Charisma Myth,’ Olivia Fox Cabane highlights three major factors that are essential for making people like you:
Presence: Showing that you are fully engaged. It demonstrates you are fully present in the moment.
Power: Exuding confidence and competence. Showing your power to the people.
Warmth: Conveying Empathy and genuine care for the people.
How Do You Secretly Make Someone Like You?
If you want to make someone like you secretly, you have to be a likable person.
Attempting to build a healthy relationship requires effort from two sides. It requires authenticity, honesty, and trust from both parties.
You can’t expect someone to instantly like you the moment they see you. It needs constant effort. Remember, Rome was not built in a day.
Here are ten tactics you can put into practice today to make someone secretly like you.
- Be authentic
- Listen actively
- Try to get in their shoes
- Respect their boundaries
- Be honest while communicating
- Prompt them to tell their interests
- Become fully engaged in their life
- Treat them with kindness and warmth
- Support them at their vulnerable times
- Point out the common interests between you
12 Insanely Easy Ways to Make People Like You
Before we proceed, remember that not everyone will like you. Also, you don’t have to attract everyone.
People have broad and different interests that might not align with yours. Attempting to force a relationship will destroy it. So beware with whom you are applying these strategies.
1. Respect People and their time
During the early stages of any connection-building process, it is important to show respect to other people. Let’s be honest; we all deserve and crave respect.
If you are not ready to offer respect, how can you expect to receive it in return? Respecting people is not just for relationships but also in the workspace.
This Forbes article suggests how employees value respect in their workplace. They expect respect from colleagues and their employers.
As cliche as it may sound, time is the new money. Everyone respects time. It is easy to respect people’s time. To raise your standard among your colleagues, be punctual.
2. Aim for a good appearance
You can’t make a second first impression; you have only one chance. Use it effectively or risk a setback. According to research, good appearance matters for men.
Appearance isn’t solely about good looks. It also has a lot to do with ethics, values, behaviors, and personality.
Continuous self-improvement is crucial to make a lasting and genuine connection.
Here are a few simple ways you can tweak your appearance to make people like you:
- Dress to Impress: You don’t have to wear grand extravagant dresses every time. Wear a dress that compliments your physique.
- Put on some light makeup: Nude makeup is enough to enhance your appearance and make you look fresh and good.
- Invest in personal hygiene: In medical analogy, our insides are like fire. The outer appearance is the smoke. If you are ignoring the fire, how can you reduce the smoke? Invest in personal hygiene. Research, learn and slowly build your personal hygiene toolkit.
3. Ask interesting questions
I have a friend known for her extroverted nature. She is a charming person. Being around her is my favorite thing.
She is very well aware of my introverted nature. When I asked her how she made everyone like her, she told me this.
“Girl, it’s very easy. Stop giving answers. Start asking questions. And don’t forget, ask interesting questions to make people like you.”
According to a study conducted by Harvard, people like those who ask more questions.
When you ask interesting questions, people come out of their shells. They share their expectations, experiences, and stories.
4. Improve your communication
Communication is crucial to build a lasting, authentic relationship. You need to communicate to make people like you.
Talk about what interests the opposite person, ask them questions, and ask favors. Let there be no communication gap between you.
- Know what you are talking about.
- Be mindful of every word that comes from your mouth.
- Don’t ramble. Rambling shows you are nervous.
- Be calm and cool down your nervous system.
- Be articulate with your speech.
- Cut out the filler words.
5. Admit that you don’t know it all
Let us agree that the world is overfilled with information. We don’t have to search for information; information is searching for us.
People are forcing themselves to be informed about it all.
In this case, when you are not ashamed about saying “I don’t know,” you are opening the doors of authenticity and trust. You don’t have to be a jack of all trades.
At times, you can get some of the information in your hand. You can ask people and let them give you their perspective on it.
6. Learn to listen without interrupting
Most of the time, people don’t need advice or opinions. They need someone who can listen to their rant without interrupting.
Instead of interrupting, please give your full attention to listen to them.
Listening here doesn’t mean only listening. It also means showing empathy, care, and respect. Psychology Today found that people look for partners who are patient listeners.
International Journal of Listening, found that active listening is an important skill. Every employer looks for active listening from their employees.
When you are listening, you are not paving ways to make people like you. You are also providing ways to enhance your relationship and better working environment.
7. Smile from your heart
Smiles are contagious. Have you ever received ignorance when you smiled at the opposite party? Of Course, if they are your enemy, you would be rejected.
Smile is a universal language. Always keep that small smile playing on your lips.
Authentic smiles open many doors for us. It shows that you are approachable and trustworthy.
A contagious smile is also important to keep the atmosphere protected and positive. A powerful smile is a stone for building a concrete relationship.
A study conducted by Penn State University found smiling people are confident and attractive.
Another study by the University of Kansas suggests that an authentic smile will reduce stress. Smiles create a more positive environment.
8. Work on your body language
Positive body language is one of the crucial factors to make people like you. You are not a robot. Be a human while talking.
Showing the different angles of your personality will make the conversation more authentic and lively.
Body Language 101 to make people like you:
- Don’t fidget
- Genuine smile
- Stop dominating
- Lean in front of them
- Keep an open posture
- Mirror the opposite party
- Maintain a comfortable eye contact
9. Ask for help
People love the feeling of being in the upper hand. When you ask them for any help, they find themselves in the above position. You are giving them the space that they didn’t get from others, and that will ultimately make people like you.
We often underestimate the power of asking for help. We fear judgment. But this study proves it wrong. Research conducted among the 2118 adults in the U.S. proved that people who need help need to be more accurate.
Their assessment should be clear to the people who are willing to offer a helping hand.
We fear judgment, but they find pleasure in the satisfaction of helping you. Go ahead and ask for help. When you keep people above you, you will automatically increase your respect. People will like you for it.
10. Master the art of compliments
I like it when someone praises me. It makes me feel good and confident about my work. It won’t hurt you to give a 3 to 4-word compliment to people, right? Offering timely and relevant compliments makes people feel special.
Everyone loves a well-timed compliment; extra emphasis on “well-timed”. Add a genuine one to that. That’s one of your formulas to make people like you.
When you compliment someone, you are not just complimenting them. You are helping them boost their confidence.
Give that ray of sunshine to people who deserve it. Offering genuine compliments promotes and strengthens relationships.
At the same time, avoid flattery. Flattery is often considered as manipulation. When you push it to the people for your favor and to take advantage. It won’t make people like you. Then, you come across as pushy and negative.
11. Don’t worry about getting embarrassed
The fear of embarrassment is deeply nurtured within us. We often laugh at people who do embarrassing things. Researchers from the U.S. National Institute of Health argue that it serves as a social function.
While talking about this, I remember how I liked Charlotte in Sex and the City movie when she peed on her pants. It wasn’t very comfortable for her. But from the audience’s point of view, I loved her for her reactions.
I’m not suggesting you do that to make people like you. I’m addressing that embarrassing situations can act as a likable factor for others.
Choosing to open yourself, opens the doors of self-discovery and meaningful relationships.
12. Exude positive and vibrant side
Who hates positive people? In the age of an exhausted lifestyle, people crave a positive, vibrant side of people. Instead of being bitchy or ignorant, paint some colors on people you care about. Research shows the importance of being positive for better mental health.
It won’t cost you to spread kindness. Show Empathy and let people see and feel your soft side. This psychiatry research suggests that emotions are contagious. People easily get infected by emotions exuded by their partners.
Choose to embrace and spread vibrancy. It will not just help you but also refresh people’s digital and fast life exhaustion. This will ultimately make people like you.
10 Phrases That Will Make People Like You
Some words and phrases have the power to mess up people’s minds. That is why marketers use persuasive words to prompt people to take action. Using the right phrases and words can make you likable, approachable, and trustworthy.
Let us look at some sentences which will make people like you. You can use these sentences in your daily life and conversations.
- “I’m listening. Go ahead”
- “You can do a lot better than them.
- “I have that too; where did you get this?”
- “You can make a difference.”
- “I’m very happy to see you.”
- “After you… Go ahead”
- “Yesterday I heard your story… But I want to listen more.”
- “I’m impressed.”
- “You are doing awesome.”
- “You were right.”
I hope I have given you every answer you expected to make people like you. It is the kind of answer that I expected when I threw this question in the Google search box.
Remember, at the end of the day, no strategy and trick will work in front of your personality. Being you is a superpower only you possess.
Thus, continue to groom your personality, and work daily on improving yourself. It will help you in the long run.
I’d love to know if you have any more tricks under your belt. If yes, smash them in the comment section. It’s yours.