Comparing yourself to others is an easy pass to your self-depreciation. Comparison is the thief of joy. We often compare ourselves with the people around us – our friends, acquaintances, cousins, etc. But, in the digital age, we have begun to compare ourselves with people we don’t even know. That’s even worse, thanks to social media!!!
Comparison is the self-sabotaging you do to yourself. This is the easiest way to go against your mental health and traumatize yourself.
The digital lie we are living in today has taken so much place in our lives that we have forgotten to practice gratitude for what we already have.
We have prioritized making ourselves feel inferior to others. And, do you know the worst part of all of this? We tend to do it unintentionally.
In this blog, I am sharing how you can get over the usual tendency of comparing yourself with others by replacing the feelings of jealousy with the feeling of gratitude.
Stop Comparing Yourself With Others and Do These 3 Things
While you are comparing yourself with others in every possible way, you have become so engrossed in it that you have easily forgotten to appreciate what you already have.
Or to say, you have unknowingly forbidden yourself to look towards the brighter side of life.
So, before we learn how to get the negative feelings inside you, let’s understand the true meaning of comparing yourself.
What Does it Mean When You Compare Yourself?
Years ago in 1950, a social psychologist named Leon Festinger proposed his Social Comparison Theory.
The theory found that humans have this innate drive to evaluate and compare themselves with their surroundings.
You choose comparison to evaluate yourselves because that is easily within your reach.
Even science has an explanation for it. The whole concept of comparison finds its roots in biology. Your brain uses the feeling of comparison to understand how to measure up to other people.
Comparison is also a way of self-discovery. It helps you know who you are, what you’re good at, and most importantly, what you suck at. Often this assessment happens unconsciously and unintentionally.
But the problem happens when you start using this information to feel inferior and belittle yourself over what is missing in your life.
When you focus on the “missing” aspects of your life too much, you expose yourself to the risk of losing your happiness, confidence, and most importantly your mental well-being.
How Can You Stop Comparing Yourself?
Comparing yourself is the easiest way to self-harm unintentionally. While most of us are engulfed by the devil, here are 3 ways to stop comparing yourself and choose gratitude instead.
1. Social Media Detoxification
With an average user spending approximately 2.5 hours of his/her day on social media, it has truly become an essential part of our lives. But you cannot deny the dark sides.
Seeing other people posting the best of their lives can easily arouse the feeling of comparing your life with others.
You usually forget that people rarely share their losses on social media. Everyone is trying to project their “perfect” life. While in reality, nobody has it together, and if at all it’s far from perfect.
While it is completely normal to dive into the ocean of comparison, you ought to understand that no one is posting their failures or miseries on social media. Hence, it is not 100% real.
So what do you do? How do you deal with this feeling of inferiority that you get when you see other people portraying this Instagram-perfect life?
Though it’s complicated, the solution is quite simple: You unfollow them.
Just like your body, a digital detox is good for your social media accounts too. And, it works the best. I have personally tried it. Being someone who used to compare her life with people who are almost double her age, successful, and living their best life, I began to detox my social media from time to time.
The person doesn’t have to bully you or do something directly to you. If you feel inferior to them and go on to develop a self-sabotaging attitude, you must do nothing else but simply remove them.
Out of sight, out of mind. This mantra works for real, especially with social media.
Because let’s face it – nobody cares in the online world.
But, you must look at your family and friends in real life. Because they do care about you.
You are an important part of each other’s life. Therefore, detox your social media. Instead of hurting yourself with unwanted comparisons, be thankful for the people who love you in real life.
2. Start Loving Your Imperfections
While you may think that everyone around has their life all good and perfect. It is usually the other way around. As they say, “The grass is always greener on the other side.”
Perfection is a myth. And if you are trying to be a perfect human being, you are already preparing your efforts to be in vain.
One who is driven by perfection never experiences the true essence of life which rather lies in being imperfect.
Perfection is the facade you wish to achieve even though you know it is unattainable in so many senses. To feel you are perfect is rather a misconception. To think that the other person is perfect is nothing but underestimating yourself, that too unnecessarily.
Hence, learn to embrace your imperfections. Be satisfied with what you have and work to make it better every day instead of having an eye on a goal that doesn’t even exist in reality – to be perfect.
So, the next time you find yourself comparing your life to others, you must stop. You ought to stop then and there. Comparison happens when you feel insufficient. Therefore, try to appreciate what life has given you.
Remember, while you are comparing yourself and making yourself feel inferior, there is somebody out there who dreams of living your life. It’s truly a cycle, where we all are intertwined and interrelated without being tied to each other directly.
Therefore, accept your imperfections and embrace your personality and character. And, if you cannot accept them, then do what is right to overcome them.
But, do not compare yourself. Rather be grateful for what you have. Own it and do it with pride. Your imperfections are what make you, you. Never forget this.
3. Learn to Accept Your Journey
I read this quote once and haven’t gotten it out of my head since then. It is what helps me hustle every day to chase and work toward my dream of becoming a successful blogger and writer.
It is – “Who you are today is the result of what you did a year ago and who you will be a year later will be the result of what you do today.”
Life is as simple and complicated as this one quote right here.
Each of us has an idol who inspires us. They have this charm and aura that keeps us in awe every time we see or talk about them. But, while we know the person and their success, we usually ignore the struggle and journey behind it.
Life isn’t the same for anybody. But, life is surely good for all. It is good to all only after it teaches you what is necessary. Hence, while you are on your journey, learn to accept it.
Accept the heartbreaks, accept the failures, and learn from them. Keep the lessons with you and move forward with dignity.
Patience is the strongest virtue. And, once you learn it there is no force stronger than your determination to stop or restrict you from becoming your best version.
Conclusion
Noam Chomsky, the great linguist, in his universal theory of grammar talks about how the ability to learn a language is innate and possessed by all humans. Comparing yourself is very much similar to the process of learning a language. You don’t even understand but you go on to adapt to it.
But, is it restricted? Well, are humans restricted to learning just one language? No, right? The same goes for the feeling of comparison.
If you want to compare, compare yourself for the good. Instead of seeing people as your superiors, see them as your inspirations and work towards becoming as successful or maybe more than what they are.
It is all about how you perceive life. Anybody can tell you what to do and how to do it. But, it is ultimately you who got to do it. Nobody can do it for you. Therefore, accept yourself.
Replace the thoughts of comparison with gratefulness. Embrace this journey called life. Learn from your mistakes. And, most importantly cultivate the feelings of gratitude, one day at a time.
If you enjoyed reading this, you must check out my guide on self-esteem therapy. It will show you 20 activities that you can try to build your self-confidence. This will also help you to ot compare yourself with others and feel more self-sufficient.
