Life is a rollercoaster of emotions. It makes you smile the brightest some days and other days it sucks your soul out. However, sometimes the bad times can really take you down and hit your nerves. They can make it difficult to let it go on in life which keeps you stuck in a never-ending loop of sorrow and remorse. In this blog, I will share how to move on and restart your life all over again. 

As a human being, it is impossible to escape pain in life. These are inevitable life experiences that shape your individuality and personality. You go through downfalls and upsetting times in your life which at times get so brutal that it becomes almost impossible to let go and learn how to move on in life. They hold you back from moving towards a bright and successful life.

Many incidents may make it almost impossible to let go of the past and some of them are:

• Regrets or mistakes
• Intimate relationships
• Upsetting or disturbing events
• Perceived failures and success

Although these are quite serious experiences and often leave a mark on your mental health you must know that it is not the end of the world. There are effective ways that can teach you how to move on from your past pain.

In this blog, I will be discussing some of the most effective ways to deal with your past traumas and reset your life towards the next chapter of your journey. 

 

How to Move on From Your Past? 10 Effective Ways to Restart Your Life

Uncertainty is the only certain thing about life and pain is what makes the happy moments worth feeling, experiencing, and cherishing. 

But sometimes this pain can get out of hand and the feelings of emptiness can linger on you for a long, long time. While pain is a part of life it should not become the whole essence of your life. 

However, some incidents can leave deep marks on you, more mentally than physically, that can make it difficult to move on in life. Thus, before we talk about the “how” let’s address the core issue of “why”: 

 

Why Is It Difficult To Move On From Your Past? 

Life experiences affect people differently. Some people deal with these experiences with a positive mindset and they get out of the situations smoothly. But some people may find it challenging. They can’t let go of their past and such experiences become their traumas.

Trauma can result from: 

•  Loss
• Failure
• Distress 
• Deep embarrassment

It can change the way you think and look at various perspectives.

When people are stuck in their past, they think about those incidents over and over again. They tend to justify this behavior by saying that it helps them to gain some insights.

But the reality is that it hinders their ability to look at life from a different lens. This normally leads to more serious issues like depression, anxiety, and feelings of shame.

People also hold on to their past when they have no zeal left to live. They feel that there is nothing left for them in the present and future moment. So they stick to their past for the feelings that once justified their existence, which they now miss in their life. 

Different people have different reasons to hold on to what’s done (or gone) and not move on from their past. But what’s more important is to accept is that your past is history. You cannot change it. Hence, it’s only smart and sensible to let it go.

How to Move On From Your Past in Life? 

If you have read this far then chances are that you are desperate to learn how to move on from your past pain in life. You are done with the feelings of helplessness and you wish to get out of this vicious loop of sorrow and misery. You‘re ready to change your life. 

While it won’t happen overnight, I hope these 10 ways will help you move on from your past and step into the next phase of your life. As you set to do it, make sure you give yourself time and credit for wanting to move on and don’t forget to celebrate your smallest milestones on the way: 

 

1. Make A Commitment To Let Go

While it may sound absurd, this is a mandatory step in your healing process. Commit yourself that you are all set to let go of your past. Understand that it is necessary and you are ready to do it. 

You can make this commitment as and when you feel ready. However, make sure you do it as soon as possible because once you commit to it, you would want your empowering feelings to not get suppressed by your emotions of hurt and pain. 

 

2. Acknowledge Your Pain

The next step in moving on from past pain is to acknowledge that the damage is done and there’s nothing you can do to reverse it. Thus, you must acknowledge your pain to let it go. If you keep on suppressing and ignoring your pain, it will only make it harder for you to let it go.

So, take your time, accept that you are going through a hard time, get out of the denial phase, and begin your healing process with acceptance. Acknowledging your pain is a crucial step in opening the door to recovery.

 

3. Take Responsibility

Take responsibility for your actions. It does not mean that you start blaming yourself for all the past mistakes. Rather tell yourself that whatever happened in the past is because of your actions, whether intentional or unintentional, it’s done now. 

As a responsible human being, you must own up to your deeds. When you take responsibility for your past actions, you become mindful of your present and get ready to take control of your future. This will give you a sense of power over your life and you can let go of the feelings of helplessness. 

4. Build a Routine

It’s not easy to move on in life. It’s not easy to let go. It requires effort and hard work. Building an empowering daily routine is a step in the direction of recovery. You can build a routine that suits your goals and work process. 

Some of the best leaders in the world credit their success to their mundane and boring routines. 

• Wake up early,
• Meditate or go for walks
• Breakfast
• Learn new skills and challenge themselves to a new task

Can you see a pattern here? These are very small tasks but they help build momentum towards their goals that eventually lead to a greater change.

You can do the same if you do the following:

•  Start your morning early by mixing elements of your favorite self-care practices  
• Indulge in some meditation or movement with some exercise 
• Practice yoga (this is what I do) to get rid of your negative feelings
• Build better eating habits 

Remind yourself that whatever happened in the past shaped you into the person you are today who is strong and deserves every good thing in the world. 

 

5. Teach Yourself To Be In The Moment

Healing and moving on from your past is a process that will require you to repeat these steps time and time until you don’t feel the need for it anymore. Till that moment comes, you will find yourself going back to your pain and rethinking about it. 

To manage your emotions during those times, you must learn to shift your focus and be mindful of the present moment. Know that the present moment is all you have. Your future is just a myth and your past only exists in your head and it can’t be done. 

The gift of the present is the gift of time. It is very powerful and it is what you need to create the difference you crave. When you enjoy the present and live in the moment, your kids get the gift of your time, your partner feels seen and heard and your friendships grow stronger because they feel appreciated. 

 

6. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Surround yourself with people who motivate you to become a better version of yourself. Your friends and family can play a huge role in helping you get out of any past pain. 

This help can come in any way. They can help you start a new job or can take you out of your room to indulge in activities that will improve your emotional well-being. 

All these things help you to look at the positive aspects of your life. You get to experience life from a different lens, a new perspective. You learn that while life is unfair to cause you so much pain, it is also mighty to bless you with people who love you and truly care about you. 

7. Engage Yourself In Self-care

When you are going through a tough time it may feel that life is nothing but a hurtful journey full of thorns. But while life may throw stones at you, it also offers you the opportunity to build a castle with these stones. 

Sometimes life brings you down to prepare you for the sky-high happiness you’re about to feel.  

Life is a mix of different experiences. While some experiences may give you good memories to cherish all life, some may not be that great. And such moments are very important because they shape us into the person we are.

So remind yourself of this fact and engage yourself in self-care. Self-care is different for different people like: 

• Giving up your worst habits 
• Buildings new habits
• Setting boundaries
• Saying no
• Doing what you love 

Choose what speaks to you. Choose what makes you want to work. And then, make sure you prioritize yourself and dedicate yourself to it. 

 

8. Permit Yourself To Express

It is important to express your feelings when you are going through a hard time. Bottling up your emotions will only worsen the situation as it adds to your emotional burden and keeps you stuck to your past. Thus the moment you feel ready, you must talk about it to a person you trust. This person could be your partner, your sibling, your parent, a friend, or anybody you confide in.   

However, if you are not comfortable talking to your friends or family members, you can always seek professional help. 

 

9. Forgive Yourself

Be gentle to yourself. Just know that you only have one life so whatever happened in the past is over now. Forgive yourself, no matter how difficult it may look, forgive yourself to not overcomplicate the situation.

Forgiveness is vital to start your healing journey because it is where you let go of your anger, shame, sadness, guilt, or other negative emotions that are holding you back from moving on in life. Studies also suggest that practicing self-forgiveness improves your psychological well-being. 

 

10. Embrace Change In Your life

Change is the only constant in your life. So if you are finally experiencing it in your life then embrace it with all your heart. 

It is your new opportunity to renew yourself and grow in life. It might be hard first to step outside of your comfort zone but it opens new doors of growth and can help catalyze your personal growth. 

Conclusion

Your past is only one tiny part of your life, not your whole life. The more you linger to it the more it holds you back from moving on in life. 

Your past may or may not shape your personality but it certainly does not define you. 

Acknowledging the need and learning how to move on from your past is a crucial step in embracing a new chapter in your life. 

By accepting your past pain and embracing it all with your heart, you can set on a transformative journey that is full of life and opportunities. But to do that you need to break the chains of your past and let it go before you let the melody of your life play on.