Kindness Week was made in an effort to inspire people to be nicer for the next seven days. In this blog, I am sharing how you can celebrate it by implementing the simplest ways to be kind in your daily life.
Have you ever heard of Kindness Week?
It is a week dedicated to being kind where people shower their positive feelings on everyone with gentleness like throwing confetti.
However, this is where things get a little bit complicated – being kind and at the same time not being a doormat.
It’s as if one wants to be a comfortable toy but at the same time, does not want to be grabbed too roughly.
I believe there is no controversy in being kind, so let’s get into this topic and understand how you can be both kind and strong.
Kindness Week: 8 Simple Ways to Be Kind Without Being a Doormat for People
Just picture an entire week in which people go out of their way to be as polite as possible with everyone around them.
Sounds pretty amazing, right?
This is what happens in Kindness Week; people try to make others feel good and do many caring gestures.
It could be just as simple as complimenting someone on their dress or helping someone with their groceries or even being friendly with strangers.
It is all about making the world a better place starting with simple acts of kindness.
But here’s the thing – sometimes, when you’re too nice, some people might take advantage of you.
They may begin to reason, “This person is very friendly, I think I can just open this door for them!” And the level of kindness has elevated to becoming a doormat.
Do you know what is a doormat?
Doormat is another word for a rug that people step on with their feet before they get into the house.
Well, you don’t want to be that do you?
Nobody would wish to be treated like they are there to please others and not the other way around.
For instance, let us assume that you are the owner of a gorgeous garden.
The garden bears lovely flowers and you would like to share them with all the people around you.
But if you allow people to choose as many flowers as they want without any restriction, then one day there will be no flowers in the garden at all.
Similarly, if you allow people to step on you continuously, there will come a time when feel empty. All because you no longer have anything to offer.
Kindness is like those flowers in the garden. It is about respecting other people and caring for them.
However, to be kind does not mean that one has to go around agreeing to everything or allowing others to mistreat them.
It is your right to be able to say no and set your boundaries.
These boundaries are like your walls of protection that no one should cross. They are like gatekeepers to your flowers aka your feelings.
What Week is World Kindness Week?
Kindness Week is celebrated annually in the second week in November.
The Kindness Week encourages everyone to be kind to everyone around them. It is a beautiful quality that anyone can have like a superpower.
It is a practice of leaving a positive impact on others without the intention of reaping any profit out of it.
But here’s the secret: it is important to note that anyone can be kind, but the true definition of the act lies in being kind to yourself.
Let’s understand this better:
Suppose you have a fully packed jar of cookies.
If you donate everything you have and fail to keep a portion of your jar, then you will be left with an empty jar.
If you are kind to yourself then you get to put some cookies in the jar for yourself too.
This signifies caring for the self, getting some sleep when you are tired, and doing things that you find interesting.
It means that not worrying that you will run out of cookies when you take some to offer to others once the jar is full.
Thus, one way of not being a doormat while being kind is to start with an understanding that your jar is full.
Being kind also means respecting yourself.
In case someone wants you to do something that you don’t feel comfortable doing or don’t have time for, it is okay not to agree to the task.
Declining people’s offer doesn’t make you an unkind person.
Now, let’s look at 8 ways you can protect your peace and not be a doormat for others while being kind to the people around you.
8 Simple Ways to Save Yourself From Being a Doormat
Here are 8 simple ways that will show how you can be kind without allowing people to overstep on yourself, without being a doormat for them.
1. Art of Saying No Politely
It can be quite tough to turn down someone or something and to do so in a courteous manner.
But guess what?
This is fine because you can say no without offending anyone.
It is not what you say, it is how you say that matters.
Let’s learn some polite magic words and phrases that you can use to say no.
If someone asks you for a favour and you are unable or do not want to do it, then, you can use the following phrases:
- “It would have been my pleasure but I am tied up at the moment. ”
- “Sorry, but right now I have other tasks to perform.”
This way, the person will understand that you have other things to do.
There are times when you would wish to be useful but in a limited way. In such cases, you can answer,
- “Sure, I can assist you for a short while, but then I have other things to attend to.”
This will let you lend a hand but at the same time establish some boundaries.
2. How To Know You’re Being Manipulated
The thing about kindness is you could easily be exploited or manipulated by others without even knowing it.
So, it is important to ensure that you do not find yourself in such a situation.
If you find yourself in a situation where the person is constantly seeking your help but makes you feel guilty when you refuse, it’s about time you establish your boundaries.
You have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
If someone is not coming through for you and not respecting your personal space, then it is alright to remove yourself from that situation.
Just remember that real friends will not look at you as a selfish person if you decide to set your ‘no’ sometimes and expect respect from each other.
3. Building a Support System
Having people who believe in you can be compared to having a group of superheroes with you. These are the people who know you, accept you, and do not cross your personal space/violations of personal space.
They can be your immediate family members, your friends, or even your teachers at school. With support, being kind doesn’t feel like a burden, or like this is too much that’s expected from you.
Express how you feel. Make them aware when you are feeling stressed or when someone close is benefiting from you out of line. They can guide you, teach you how to establish personal and emotional limits for your interactions, and suggest that you should put your own needs first.
4. Help others but help yourself first
That is why being kind is more about making judgments these days. It’s about checking if you can benefit others and at the same time take care of yourself.
So, learn to strike a balance between helping others and taking care of yourself.
Everything is okay in moderation, the key is to do things that make both you and others happy.
For instance, if you love reading, spend some time reading or if you love coloring, find time to color. Finally, if playing more makes you happy, go play outdoors.
It is thus important to help others without neglecting your own needs as well.
5. Practising Self-Care
Self-care is about engaging in activities that are beneficial to your body, mind, and soul.
When I practice yoga, I have this exercise where I put my arms around myself and give myself a good squeeze.
Self-care can be anything you want, it can be reading a book, going for a walk, indulging in some drawings, or simply relaxing.
You might think that if you love cookies, eating a lot of them is the way to go, which, when applied to self-care, just means you’re refilling your jar of cookies.
You are ensuring that you have enough stamina for both being generous to society and to yourself.
Therefore, this Kindness Week, build a self-care schedule that helps you.
List down the hobbies or activities that you enjoy, and dedicate time in your day for them.
6. Avoiding Guilt
At times, it becomes so hard to deny a request or even draw a line to something you do not like.
But, you must not forget that self-care is not a charity that you are burdened with but a necessity that you owe to yourself.
There are choices that may make you feel bad or guilty, it can also compel you to agree when in fact you do not wish to.
Finally, don’t forget to remember that it is not selfish to think about yourself.
7. Setting Clear Boundaries
Setting boundaries can be compared to the act of drawing a line in the sand.
It is crucial that you assert your boundaries as well as express them in a gentle manner.
For instance, my cousin asked me to help her in completing this massive college project for her. This was when I was swamped with work and saying yes to her would have hampered my own work.
In this case, I clearly communicated with her how I was busy with my own work. I politely told her that I’d help her in the research part but I would not be helping her with the execution.
The truth is putting up boundaries doesn’t make you self-centered, illogical, or even rude. It is about being honest about what you can manage.
This assists other people to observe your perimeters and conform to them to avoid displeasing you.
I just want to remind you that boundaries are there so that you don’t get taken advantage of and so that you can be kind without resentment.
8. The Art of Saying Yes
It’s equally important to know when to say yes as it is to know when to say no.
Hence, it is important to analyze where you should genuinely help others and where you need to save your time and energy to not end up feeling overwhelmed.
If you nod your head at every request that is made to you, then you are likely to be stressed all the time.
Consider when you might be agreeing to do something and whether or not it corresponds to your scheduled free time and your level of alertness.
It is however okay to beat around the bush a little. You can use words such as, “Let me think about it and get back to you. ”
This gives you time to determine whether or not you can be of assistance to others without compromising yourself.
Conclusion
Kindness Week offers an opportune time to easily disperse joy and positivity,
However, Kindness Week should also remind you to balance kindness with self-value and boundaries.
I hope these 8 simple ways have helped you understand how to not be a doormat despite showing kindness to others.
The steps mentioned in this blog will let you become considerate without becoming submissive.
If all of us followed suit, we would make a better world where kindness is traded with kindness at least.
Lastly, if you enjoyed learning about Kindness Week, I am sure you will enjoy reading my guide on 17 simple ideas to be kind that you can perform not only during Kindness Week but also in your everyday life.
